Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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