You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
