Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Actions speak louder than pants.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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