Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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