Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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