we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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