clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
accomplished twins. life is a go
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
