My brain says no but my pants say off.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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