we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
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Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
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Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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