so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
