i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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