I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
