I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
