And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
