Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
where are my eyebrows?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
