I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
