In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
