so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
