Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
