So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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