at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Four minutes until I can fart!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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