I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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