Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Soap is not a condiment
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
