i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
