No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
