You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
