I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
