Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
my liver is dry heaving
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
where are my eyebrows?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
