My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
