Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize