So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize