chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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