Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
