im six kinds of drunk right now
she smelled like a LAN party
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
