that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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