just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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