Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize