my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
