2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize