About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
