...so i touched it.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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