Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
