She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
