Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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