considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
