Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
