# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
