how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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