i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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