Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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