yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
