I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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