xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
