I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
