Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my being single is dangerous.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize