3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
