hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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