brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
