Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He better not be in your backpack
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
