Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
