It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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