i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish you could order shots online.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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