I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
