piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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