Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
