is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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