Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
